You know those mornings that you wake up and you’re just not ready to start the day. The days where your bed is just the only place you want to be. Where you just want to spend five more minutes laying next to the love of your life and just listen to him sleeping soundly. That was my morning. My alarm went off for an hour and a quarter and I just didn’t care. I wanted to just live in those moments. The early morning of my day which is completely my own. It’s my favorite part of my day and also my saddest.
On this Monday morning I woke up and realized that I honestly just have so many good things in my life. I’ve had my bumps in the road but I’m here still standing tall. That no matter what might come at me, I can take it on. I came across a box of old journals over the weekend and had to stop reading them just due to the context. It was hard to read and know how angry and sad I was. It ripped open wounds that I’ve covered up for so long and chose to forget. I craved attention that I wasn’t receiving and it really saddens me to remember.
Needless to say the weekend went on. I was in a disoriented state and was just not thinking. So upon waking up this morning, I realized what is wrong with me. Look where you were and look where you are now. Nothing is perfect but when you have 90% of your life on track, you’re planning your dream wedding to the most amazing guy you know (who manages to put up with your emotional pitfalls over and over again – seriously bless his soul), why get so sad. Life shouldn’t be this sad. It’s a journey and challenges you at times but you need to focus in on the good things to get you through. Wasting away your life being sad over nonsense is not living at all. Though I was in a fog all day and irritable, I also came to an understanding that I honestly have some serious changes that I need to make with myself. I need to live in the moment because you just don’t know what will happen tomorrow. You can plan and plan and plan for the future, but one small thing can happen tomorrow and that plan may change. I am not saying don’t have dreams and goals but realize that you may need to change the path to reach those goals at a moments notice. Life happens. Things come up. You may need to postpone your goal or completely revamp the route to get there but if you try, it will happen.